Miles To Walk
by JustHeretoRead7
Summary: This is a Jesse McCartney story. *Warning:If you don't like sad/depressing stories,don't read this one*. Jesse's life is turned upside down,and he goes into the Hospital for something... And,they find somethingwrong w/ him... Pleasee R&R!
1. Chapter 1

*Flashback*.

I sat in a Room,waiting for the Results of my Test.I nervously shifted on the Table in the Doctors Office.I'll admit it:I was scared.I didn't know what to expect and i sure,as hell wasn't expecting what i found out...

*Present (1days later)*.

I walked around my Bedroom,gathering everything i would need.I didn't tell anyone what was going,just that i needed time Doctor had said,i needed to be at the Hospital by 4Pm,and it was already 2:30pm.I sighed,looking around.I had no idea how this had wait,I Did!.I was stupid..I shake my Head,as i finish packing the Bag i'll be taking.I only told my Mom,and Dad what was going else,not even my Sister or the time i finished,it was time for me to word killed me,just thinking it.I drove myself to the Hospital.I arrived and went inside and met the Doctor in Admitted me and he walked with me up to the Floor i would be staying we got up to the Floor,we got me a Room and i put my stuff in it,looking Doctor said,

"Well..I have a few Papers and stuff for you to Sign,alright?".I was all 'New' to me.

He said,

"Alright,well..The Nurse'll come in with everything you will need to 'll be doing Testing Later on Tomorrow okay?".I nodded, left me .To deal with all of this.I looked through my Bag and put everything into the my Clothes into the tiny Closet they had,in the at all,like my Nurse knocked then had me Sign alot of told me,this was seemed, next Day,as 'Promised',i did have stopped at around Doctor came in around 3pm and said,

"Jesse...How're you?".I rollled my eyes,

"Fine..Just,fine!..".He said,

"I can see ,i know this is hard,but..I think you should meet someone..".

I looked at somebody?..Why?.I asked,

"Why?What good would that do?".

"I think hearing and talking to her,would help...You think you have it bad?..C'mon".

I rolled my Eyes and got out of the Bed,sore from all the damned Tests!.We walked a bit down the Hall until we came too a said,

"Hold on".

He went 2minutes later,he said,

"C'mon,Jesse".

I slowly walked in,seeing a Girl on the Bed,messing with ,like a Phone or whatever. He said,

"I'll let you Two talk..Take it easy,Amber okay?".She shrugged.

He walked out,leaving me standing there,again alone.'Amber' looked up and said,

"You gonna sit or what?".I satdown in a Chair by her Bed.I noticed,she had Music playing.I asked,

"Whatcha got playin'?".She looked up at me and said,

"You're not around your so-called 'friends' anymore,right now..Speak normally?..This".

She took out the Earphones from the was,'Beautiful Soul'.I cringed but tried to hide such noticed,and said,

"Yeah..Cringing much?".I shrugged.I said,

"Your point would be?". It switched too another song of Mine,'That was Then'.I said,

"Mind turning my shit off,please?".She said,

"Nope,not gonna..Why're you here,though?".I said,

"If you want me to leave the Room,say so!".

She rolled her eyes and said,

"No!.I meant HERE,as in,the Hospital!".I said,

"Just...Because of something..Not something,i wanna share with the World..".She said,

"Jesse,your not out in the Public right now, not surrounded by Paparazzi,watching your every damned move..Your secure..".I rolled my said,

"What,what would *I* know,right?".I looked at said, 

"Please..It's written allover your Face.A Kid like me?.What would i know?.Alot,actually and you have 2 Choices".

"What would those be?".She looked me in the face and said, 

"You can either,1)Make your time here 'Fun' and Wise, or 2),you can Sullk it away,feeling sorry for yourself,which you're doing,while you KNOW others probably already,have it worse than you do!.Your choice...".I roll my Eyes and said,

"Whatever..Why do you care?".She said,

"Why do you NOT care?".I said,

"Why do you wanna know so damned badly?..You don't even know me!".

"Mm maybe..I bet i can guess why you're in here,though..Just by from what i've seen and heard".

"Go ahead..Try!".She shakes her head and said,

"Nah..I'll wait for YOU to tell me".I was starting to get ticked!.I said,

"Why?".

"Because..If i force it out of you,you're not gonna Trust not gonna open up if i force you..So nope".I changed the Subject.I asked,

"WHatever...Why're you here?.What's your Story?".

She turned off her iPod and said,looking at me,

"You'll find out,eventually".

"What's the mean?".

She smirked,and said,

"It means,when you Trust me,enough to tell me why you're here,then i'll Trust you enough to tell You why I'm here...Deal?".I said,

"Damn..You like shrugging,or something?".

I smirked,

"Maybe".


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1.  
The Days went slow and the time seemed to pass even and i weren't really...Friends,but she was getting nicer and i guess i was warming up to her.A little!.It had been a Week,but it felt like a damned Lifetime!.I was eating Lunch today and Amber happened to walk into my Room,plopping into a had a Notebook and a few Pens with her.I set down my Fork and said,

"What are you doing?".

She looked up at me and said,

"Um... Writing?".  
I looked at her,confused slightly,

"You Write?".She nodded.

"Yeah.. get's your Mind off what's happening too you..".  
I said,

"You should try 's not like Writing i guess it could yeah..You really should try it".I a bit,Amber got up and left,saying she didn't feel good and wanted to sleep some.I noticed,she had left a Notebook and 2Pens on the Chair.I reached over,grabbing the Notebook,which was Brand-New and 1 of the was Brand-New,along with the Pens.I didn't know what to Write,but just started Writing,

'_Entry #1,  
Well..I guess i'll give this a not?.Honestly i hate it here.I really don't 'know' anyone here,it's all New to me and i basically,am 'Alone' here.I guess,you could say,i'm scared?.I don't know,anymore!.I don't even,know MYSELF anymore and that's scaring me!.I miss my Friends,Family,House,Music..'s only been a Week, still.I don't know how the hell these Kids do 's nuts too me!.You know,i don't even know WHY the hell,i'm talking too a Half Blank Notebook Page,but in someways it's helping.I had alot of Testing done,and still they don't know exactly,what's 'wrong' with can only 'Guess'.For once,'I' don't have the Answers.I guess my Mom's coming for a Visit later 't know how much i wanna see 't get me wrong,i wanna see her but..,i'll end this, i try this again,sometime...Don't count on it,though.._

-J'.

My Doctor walked in just as i ended the Entry and set everything said,

"Ah.I see Amber got you to start keeping a Journal?".I said,

"Good..You does help...".I said,

"Well,anyway.I came to tell you,you're going to be having more testing done,later and your Mother won't be coming today.I don't think she should see you just yet".  
Was he TRYING to ruin my Life even more?.I just rolled my eyes,again.  
He said,

"Is there anything,you need?".I shake my sighed saying,

"How's things with Amber going so far?".I shrugged,

"Fine..I guess".

"I'm hoping you'll connect with her,,i'll be back later to check up on you before i head ?".I nodded as he .I wanted to go Home,so badly!.But,i could't.I was stuck in this next few Days seemed to pass a little quicker,but not by much. On a Friday afternoon one-day,i was reading something,when Amber popped into my Room.I motioned her smirked and came in,sitting in her usual spot. She got comfortable and said,

"You know,You CAN,get out of your Room,right?".I nodded.I said,

"Yeah but..I've visited this place before.I know some of the Kids here,know who i am...".  
She shrugged,saying,

"So?.Don't you think,those Kids would LOVE to see you?.I bet they'd enjoy it more than anything!".I looked to her.I asked,

"Why?".

"Because..It get's their Minds off what's happening,Jesse...Having you here,does,anyway".  
I shifted in the Bed,sitting up more.I said,looking away,

"I don't want people seeing me like this...Okay?". She nodded.I guess she knew i didn't want to talk about this,because she changed the asked,

"So..What would you be doing right now?If you weren't here,i mean?.Like what do you normally do on a Friday night?".I shrugged and said,

"Go out partying..Hang with Friends".She nodded and said,

"Oh,your so-called,'friends'?".I looked at her,

"Excuse me?".

"Please!..They don't actually 'care' about you,Jesse..".  
I glaired at her.

"They care!".  
She looked around and said,

"Really?.Because,i don't see them here!".I said,

"That's because i didn't tell anyone except my Parents what's going on,Miss-know-it-all!".  
She snapped,

"They still would have tried finding out what's happened!.If,they were really your 'Friends'!".

I crossed my Arms,knowing she was always!.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 2.  
'_Entry #2,  
It's been fucking SUCKS here.I really want to just go Home! :-(. I miss ,whatever.I said that last time.I didn't think,i'd be writing in this stupid Thing,,here i am!.Amber think's,i should get outta my Room and visit some of the Kids.  
,i honestly don't want people seeing me like this. I've always been,'Jesse McCartney,the Singer' too would/will they see me now?.They still don't know what the hell's wrong with really, i better head off,Amber want's me to go too her Room for only know's,what...Bye,_

-J'.

I got up and headed into Amber's sat and chatted awhile,until a Nurse came in and said,

"Amber?.Someone's here to see you?".Amber nodded,like she knew who it was,coming.

The Nurse,brought in a little Kid,who looked about 5 or something,and set her on the Bed.  
She said,

"Behave..I'll be back soon".The Kid nodded and the Nurse held the Kid and said,

"Jesse...This is Lexie..Lex,this is Jesse...Remember him?".'Lexi' played with Lexi for a bit,then the Nurse came back and got next Week had passed faster.I guess i was finally adjusting,somewhat..It was my 3Rd Week,here.

I started writing every wanted me to go too her Room,again.I went inside but she wasn't Nurse,told me that she had gone for some Testing and would be back said,i could wait in Amber's Room,if i'd like.I did.I noticed her Notebook on a Chair beside her was parially open.I picked it up,looking through it.I came across something,that said,

_'Eyes of Stone,never used to be.  
The brightest Smile,now nowhere to be seen.  
The softest voice,now hard distant.  
The warmest heart,now turned cold.  
Eyes,that were once like pure,Genuine Emeralds,now like Granit.  
The softest touch of his voice,  
i cannot find.  
The pureness of personality,  
Now washed away.  
The One who,always didn't follow the crowd,made his own mark in this world,stood for what he believed in.  
Now has been all washed away and all that's left,  
are little tiny spects of dust. Not even that.  
Will you ever return to us?.  
Maybe,like they say,  
Once you've gone over a certain point/edge,  
there is no return. No coming back.  
The dead don't come back. So why should we think you will?._'.

There was more,

'_Your beautiful eyes.  
Are everywhere i go,it seems.  
Your beautoful Eyes,i cannot seem to escape.  
Your Voice,the one that runs through my mind every Night,  
I cann't do without.  
Your Amazing way/s,that ur able to lift me from my darkest cloud,  
is now nowhere.  
That spark in ur Beautiful Eyes may be back,that Glow that u once had.  
But ur Beautiful smile,is nowhere to be seen anymore.  
That Beautiful Voice,that was once,like a soft Feather,blowing in the Breeze,  
is nowhere to be heard,anymore.  
Socan u tell me?.Can u tell US,where all of these Amazing/Beautiful things have gone to?.  
Because we'd really love them back!.  
U go and light up at night,thinking that it'll relieve the stress u have from that Day.  
Maybe so. But,in the meantime,you're ruining our one and only Beautiful Voice,  
we've ever known and have come to love with every inch/piece of our hearts!.  
Soon,it'll ruin that Beautiful Soul of your's. As i lay here writing this,  
my Heart aches but the Tears don't come.  
I may not be very good at Poetry itself,but I write what i know.  
And this,is what i know:  
You have got an AMAZING Voice!.  
And some amazinf fans behind you!.  
Don't allow that all to go to waste!'_.

I finished reading it and sat on her Bed,shocked. I figured,this was about me.I closed the Notebook and put it back where it was. I started to walk out of the Room,when Amber came back. She looked up almost running into me. She said,  
"Oh my gosh..Sorry,Jesse".I shrugged,as she got into her Bed. She said,

"Go ahead and sit..If you want to". I slowly satdown.I was debating rather or not,to tell her i read some of of her stuff.I decided not to. She said,

"What's up?You been waiting long?".I shrug and said,

"Not really...".  
She looked over at me and said,

"We're back to short sentences again,now?".

I couldn't really noticed and said,

"What's wrong?..They find something wrong?".

I shake my head and say,

"Mm no..Just...I don't know..Ever feel that way?".

She nodded,

"Mhm it's why i write..Can i show you something?".

I braced myself,nodding.

She opened up her Notebook and showed me before she did,She said,

"You might be...Freaked out".

I laughed and said,

"I doubt that..Lemme see?".

She slowly handed me the Notebook,

'_My biggest dream,  
Is like a Shooting Star.  
U can see it,  
But u can't ever touch it.  
I can see u,i look at u.  
U can try and reach for that shooting star,  
But u won't evr be able to actually touch it.  
It seems like it's to far away,  
that you'll never reach that far,  
into the Sky.  
I look into the Sky,up at the Moon,  
On a Clear May night,  
The Cool Air blowing at me.  
And,i think of u.  
I think of ur smile,ur eyes,ur voice.  
I play ur music.  
I look up at the Moon and the Sky,  
And wonder,will i ever meet u?.  
Will i ever,be able to reach that high out,  
into the Sky,to touch u?.  
You're always moving,like a shooting star.  
Always on the move. U seem so carefree.  
Why?.I just qanna be able,to reach out and touch ur hand.  
Even for a split second,  
Just like,that split few seconds,that u see the shooting star,  
fly across the Night Sky.  
I wanna feel like i'm flying.  
On nights like this,  
After everything,  
I guess i'm okay.  
I listen to ur music,  
ur Oldest songs.  
All in all though,  
I just wanna feel like a shooting star.  
I wanna know what it feels like,  
To fly without being afraid to.  
Maybe,someday i will.. :-)'_.

I finished reading,and actually,smiled. She asked,

"W...What?". I shake my Head,saying,

"It's really...Good,Amber..You,wrote this?".  
She nodded,I said,

"Your a very Good Writer!. No Joke!". She blushes,then says,

"..".I nodded,also. I had more Testing,so i had to leave.I told her,i would be back soon, said Okay and i left. The Tests,as usual,were joke,again!.

I headed into Amber's Room,as i had Promised her.I saw her laying in the Bed,watching something on T.v. I look up,seeing her expression.I asked,sitting down,

"What's wrong?".  
She looks up and says,

"Um...This,".She turns up the Volume,and i hear,

'Jesse McCartney,Singer/Songwriter/Actor,has not been in the Studio lately for the past 3weeks,has NOT been Tweeting or anything fans are Jesse,finally,given up?Stay tuned!'.

I shake my head,almost laughing. Amber turned it off and said,

"Sorry,i wasn't really 'Watching' it.I was kinda thinking more". I shrugged.I say,

"I don't really care,either way.. It's old to me,now..Ya know?". She nodded. I say,

"Well i'd love to hang out more,but i think you're falling asleep,so i'll catch you later okay?".She nodded. I say,

"Come by whenever...Bye".

I leave and go back to my own the way back though,my Doctor catches me,and says,

"Jesse!.Hold on a Moment". He catches up to me and says,walking along side me,

"I was ,i'm happy you and Amber are starting to get along,i was really hoping you ,how would you like,to see some of the other Kids,as well?.Go for a visit?".

I sigh.I say,

"I don't know..I've been here before...Could i maybe,think about it?".He nods,

"Of course..You feeling alright?".I nod. He nod's,saying,

"Good,good. Well,you're going to be going for Tests in 2days,i thought i would give you a Break today/Tomorrow. Also,i thought you would want to maybe,call your Mother?".I said,

"You can call her,short though..When you want..I'll see you later".

I head back to my Room,laying grabbing my Notebook and a before i can start,my Phone rings.I roll my eyes and look to see who it is.I see,it's my Mom.I answer it,

"H..Hello?". We talk for awhile.


	4. Chapter 4

**This is from another forum completely. This is completed, and I wasn't planning on posting any more of it, but here you go. Some people seem to like it...I'm not writing Jesse McCartney/Summerland fics anymore, but I'll continue to post this if any of you want it. Just drop me a line. **

**Also, I realize that my writing is completely ****horrible****. Sorry.**

**I don't own Jesse (obviously). **

Chapter 3.  
My Mom and I talk,and then i have to hang up.I don't want to,but i do.I don't know exactly,how i feel,after talking to her for the first time,in about ,i do the 1 thing,i know how to do,how to get my feelings out...

'_Entry #3,  
It's been.. 3Weeks?.I to my Mom got off the Phone with her,actually.  
Don't ask me,how i feel because i honestly don't know!.It was weird,because i hadn't talked to her in weeks.3 Weeks. I guess,i have a 2days break from Tests,but then,back to the 'Wonderful' tests,in !.Not!.Anyway.I think i'm actually,relaxed for once,in Years.I mean,i don't have the Media up my Ass 24/7,i don't have anything to get onto Sites and see the **** people so kindly post,the closest i came to that,was today when something came onto T.v but that,wasn't even half as bad!.I love Fans but i need a Break!..Which i guess,i'm finally i'm gonna go..Laterrr.._

-J'.

As Night fell,my Nurse walked into my Room,holding a Basket of something.I rolled my eyes,  
knowing what was coming.I say,

"I thought i wasn't having anymore for another 2Days?".She smirked and set everything down.

She took my Arm and started looking at my Veins. She prodded my Veins,trying to find a good One. She asked,

"Have you been drinking alot?.Like,Water?". I shake my sighed and says,

"That's why i cannot find a decent Vein...Damn".She prodded a little more,then took the Needle and said,

"Ready?".I nodded.I felt a 'Pinch'.She started moving it around in my awhile,about Three of them,tries,they started too hurt!.I said,

"Damn..Can't you try again later?".She shakes her Head,

"No,i'm sorry Jesse,but the Doctor want's this by Tomorrow.I know this hurt's".

I winced as she pushes the Needle further,into my ,she gives up and says,

"Okay,i'll be right back...".She leaves,then comes back a few Minutes later,walking back to the Bed,She says,"Have you been drinking alot of Water?".I say,"No"."I have to start an I.V. then".She comes back a few minutes later,and says,

"Your body needs to start producing Water ,i have to try and start One on you..This may,take awhile..".

I nod,laying my Head back against my ask's,

"You're Right-Handed,right?".I nodded. She nod's and proceed's too set everything up.

I asked,as she started rubbing a Swab of Alcohol over my Skin,

"Is Amber doing alright?..". As she concentraited on my Skin,she says,

"Mhm..How come?". I say,

"Because,she's been sleeping forever.I just..Wondered...".She nodded,

"Your worried about her,aren't you?". I smirk,

"I wouldn't call it that..Just,she okay?".She nod' she continues to prod my Skin for a Vein,she says,

"Yes,she Tests just tired her out,and she was Hurting after them,so she asked for some knocked her out for a 's fine,though".

I ask,

"What's her story?". She says,looking at me,finally,

"Same as Your's..". I roll my Eyes,

"As in what?". She looks back at me and says,

"We've all got the Same Story,'s just,the way/s we choose too tell them,is how we're all Different". This almost made,no sense to ,in someways,it did!.

She said,

"Finally...I find One..Decent,Vein..You ready?".I nod,and she Sticks me.

I wince. She get's a Drawback,sort of,and pops the I.V into says,

"Alright...It's don't use your Left Fore-Arm too in,don't bend it..You need anything?".I shake my head.


	5. Chapter 5

**Again -I don't own Jesse.**

Chapter 4.  
'_Entry #4,_

Well..It's been,4weeks... I have an I.V now,which i guess,just make's this all the more,,.It's been,real to me for 've been doing more and more Tests on me,and they've found.. 'Something',wrong. I guess,the sh!t i've been doing while partying,causes this.I knew it did,just never thought it would happen to me.I've seen/heard people talk alot about it happening,too me,but never thought it actually might/would!.They don't know what stage I'm at,,i even have it.I hope too God,i don't..That's all for now,..

-J'.

It suck's,having to have this damned I.V stuck in my Arm!. But,i was getting used too it. Slowly,but surely. I decided to get up,and head into Amber's room. I walked in,and saw her sitting up in the Bed,reading something. I knock,and walk in. She sees me,and grins,setting down her whatever it is she was reading. I sat down in the Chair,and lean back. Amber said,

"Hey.. Whats up?". I shrugged and said,

"Not much. Bored as ?". She laughs and says,

"Same,but you get used to it". I smirk,

"Sure,you do..". She actually,laughes. We hung out for a bit,then i asked,

"So,did you write anymore?". She looks up,and shrugs. I smirk,

"Now,you're starting to act like me!". She rolls her eyes,

"Not very likely!". I said,

"Uh huh.. So,did you?". She sighes. She says,

"Kinda... Why?". I smirk,

"Because,i like your writing. May i see it?". She shakes her head,

"Nope..". I frown,

"Why not?".

"Because,you're not gonna enjoy,these...They're going to..Hurt,you". I sigh,

"Amber.. You've been the only one,whose really shown me the TRUTH!. Please?". She rolls her eyes again. She handed me her Notebook. She said,

"Its... More of a song,though..". I looked at her,

"Then... Sing it,please?". She looked at me. I said,

"Please?. I'm not gonna judge you..I'm not one,too do that". She sighes,and nods. She starts too sing,

_'Maybe no one told you that there is strength in your tears.  
And so you fight to keep from pouring out  
But what if you unlock the gate that keeps your secret soul  
Do you think that there's enough you would drown_

If no one will listen, if you decide to speak  
If no one is left standing after the bombs explode  
If no one wants to look at you for what you really are  
I will be here still

No one can tell you where you alone must go  
There's no telling what you will find there  
And God, I know the fear that eats away at your bones  
Screaming every step, "just stay here"

If no one will listen, if you decide to speak  
If no one is left standing after the bombs explode  
If no one wants to look at you for what you really are  
I will be here still

If you find your fists are raw and red  
From beating yourself down  
If your legs have given out under the weight  
If you find you've been settling for a world of gray  
So you wouldn't have to face down your own hate

If no one will listen, if you decide to speak  
If no one is left standing after the bombs explode  
If no one wants to look at you for what you really are  
I will be here still'.

**(A/N:** _I'm aware,whose song this is. For those who __don't__ know,it's __Kelly Clarkson' 'If No One Will Listen'.__**).**_


End file.
